it's happening again and it's a vicious cycle that I know is bad for me but I still allow it to happen anyway.so I'm thinking,if I make this decision will I live to regret it?though the stronger part of me says I wouldn't;I couldn't,there's nothing that could possibly hold me back.hate feeling like this.hate the overwhelming feeling of. . . sudden sadness that hits you unannounced and throws you off your feet.must shake this thought away (but why does it keep coming back?)
no,it cant be sadness because you only experience sadness when you let yourself feel it.it's more like..discontentment with the way things are,with the place I am right now,with things that could have been; if only . . . but there are too many 'if-only(s)' to worry about//
I think it's time to go home.